Blog: Learning to Survive

This is a blog which hopes to connect survivors of childhood sexual abuse — to each other, to those who love them, to healing, to art, and to activism. Inevitably, it is also in part my own story.

something is wrong

[image: mast cells, stained] I am aware that more days than is usual have passed since I last posted. And I haven’t until recently — until lying in bed last night — been able to get my head around my lack of focus. The truth is, I have been in the middle of a world…

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my own private restoration

It’s Easter Sunday for Christians. We have one child home for family time and a good meal. We have each other. Although I do not consider myself a Christian, I am profoundly grateful for our lives today. On Radio 4 this morning, the ‘Sunday’ programme asked all of its speakers what they did to restore…

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or, naivety

I’ve been on my own this week. As I often do at such (infrequent) times, I decided to challenge myself a little. So I watched both of the new documentaries about family dysfunction and sexual abuse: House of Maxwell and Jimmy Savile: a British Horror Story. I think I do this on my own because…

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on not wanting to make a fuss

It is tremendously difficult to locate your authenticity when you are a survivor. Your authentic self, your authentic emotions. Because up until now so much of your life has been about masking, camouflage, compartmentalisation, and pushing down and away from painful or confusing things. Up until now this has been necessary. It’s not wrong: it’s…

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